Story:A Conversation - Nov 23 2020
A Conversation - Nov 23 2020
Written by BladesDaRaccoon and TriangleDelta
It was already dark by the time that Desi met up with Ash at the beach. He was waiting for her by the sand when she got there. She felt momentarily bad about making him wait, especially after being the one to invite him, but it couldn't be helped. She'd been second guessing herself the entire way over there.
The two set out walking. They were far from the crowds of Waikiki, where people would have recognized the two basketball players in a heartbeat. The press had been hounding Ash for the past few nights, and a crowd was the last thing that Desi wanted. Instead, they were out near Kahala, further east and away from the city center.
The two were quiet for a little while as they walked. Desi kept her hands in the pockets of her shorts, pointedly not looking over at the racoon. It was Ash that broke the silence.
"So why this beach?"
Desdemona glanced up and down the dark sands. She shrugged. "Honestly? I know, like, two beaches in Honolulu. This is the one that we came to after we won the championship, to party, you know?" She snorted, thinking back. "I think we were all afraid we'd get lynched if we went to Waikiki."
"Well if it's any consolation, I don't think any Hawaii fans are going to try to lynch me for some accidental contact with Leon."
Desdemona's shoulders tensed, but she didn't respond. If Ash noticed her tension, she couldn't tell. The two of them walked a bit further along the beach, with only the sound of the breaking waves to fill the silence. There were still a few people out and about at the beach, mostly sitting on towels or wandering with partners.
At last, Desi sighed, and took a deep breath. "Alright. We may as well do this."
Next to her, Ash sighed too, and muttered, "Say what you need to say. Everybody else has."
She nodded. She glanced over at the water for a moment, and then started speaking.
"Ash, Hawaii is important to me. It's the place where I came out to the world." She let that hang in the air for a moment, still not looking over at him, before continuing. "This is the place that I helped a group of people I care about realize their dreams. When I say that, I need you to understand that it includes Wes, Lance, and Leon.
“If only Leon’d actually been greatful about seein’ that dream through…” saying it softly yet clear enough to be heard.
"So today I'm going to do something else important here. I'm going to be the person Lance and Wes want me to be. I'm not here to yell at you or tell you off, or try to get into a fight. Wes asked us to push past this and work together, and I want to do that.
"So let's be very clear. I don't trust you." She finally forced herself to look at him. She wasn't surprised to see the stricken expression on his face. She pushed on. "It's not because of what happened between you and Leon the other night. What I realized after that, and how I felt, and everything that Wes said, is that I haven't trusted you for a while. Maybe you didn't mean to hit Leon, but when you say it was an accident, I don't trust you. When you tell me you did it for Lance, and when you tell me that it was to help the team, I don't trust you. We lost that a while ago."
At this point Ash broke in. "You...you don't trust me?" He turned away for a second. "Desi...I...To think I put my faith in you guys!” seeming a bit agitated now. “I'd take a bullet for every last one of you...multiple bullets! You, Lance, Randy, Sluggy, Arex...all of you!"
"But none of us need or want you to take a bullet for us! Like… frig, Ash, I can take my own hits. It's part of the reason that I got to where I am - it's why all of us got where we are. We don't need that."
"I'm here for this damn team. You don't get tapped by the defending champs and start from day one for nothing! I know i'm supposed to be here...especially for all of you! I'm not that much in the grand scheme of things...but this, I get to be part of somethin' bigger than I could ever conjured..."
"Then be part of it! But being part of it is understanding that we're pissed off right now! Like, do you have any idea how pissed Lance got at me during my first season?" She winced internally when she remembered. "Hell, I was just being myself. Fuck winning, who cared, those games were boring, all that. But the problem is that those wins meant something, and they were important to my teammates. So… fuck, when Lance told me off and said I had to start taking the games we were winning seriously, I listened. Right now your entire team is saying they're disappointed in you. What are you going to do?"
Ash didn't respond for a long few moments. The two of them had long since stopped walking. Desi was thankful for the sound of the waves - it would make it difficult for anybody walking by to hear what they were saying.
At length, the raccoon answered. "Seems we have...opposite problems there. You didn’t seem to care enough an’ I seem ta’ care too much. Why else ya think I disap...” Ash quickly biting his tongue. “Anyways...I guess...whatever's needed. But I can't read all ya'll's minds, I don't know what everyone wants so they can trust me… I ain't playin' this season for my own glory or...some ax to grind much as I have a screw you attitude about a lot that's gone on! My life's never been my own to peril. So what do you want from me?"
"What I need right now, more than I need a rookie of the year or an Olympic champion, is a teammate I can trust." She searched his face, then sighed. "Ash, I want to trust you again. I'm willing to do that. But you need to start giving me, and the rest of this team, a reason to do it. So... you tell me. Where do you start?"
His sigh was just as heavy as hers. "All I can really do is come back and play..."
Desi let the quiet drag out, and turned to look at the water. Her voice was still low as she responded. "Then that's where we'll have to start." After another couple seconds, she added, "I just miss seeing you as the nice guy who checked on me and offered me a ride home after I got a black eye."
Ash paused, looking down at the sand "I know how hard I can be to get along with, won’t deny it...I guess this season there's just...least it feels like there's so much at stake. Like I just...can't let anythin' get in the way of gettin' to that top of the hill. First Lance's finale season and now Wes' last dance at the helm. At first...I tried to tell myself that this is all for the team this season...to give Lance that storybook ending...And not lettin' a single damn thing get in the way.”
"Is that obsessive? Probably...but like before, i’d rather care too much than feel nothin’. If I get hurt, whatever, long as all of ya’ll are alright.” Ash took a moment or two to collect himself. "But if it really helps for the team… I'll… see if I can't find that nice guy again..."
Desi nodded again. The two of them stood there for a bit, before she nodded further up the beach a bit. "Cool. If I remember right, I think there's a poke place over there that we went to after the finals. Assuming the locals didn't abandon it for serving us, want some dinner? I'll buy."
Ash nodded, shaking the sand from his feet "Sure… I'd be down for that. Hopefully it's fairly quiet at this hour."
Featured Characters
Ash Van Zant
Desdemona Iverson