2023 FBA Season/23.04.1/HNT@BLV/Capsule
Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed viewers, I am Christopher Whalen, your panda in the press, coming to you live from Blioxi where the Huntsville Mayors are taking on the Voodoo. This promises to be an exciting matchup betwe--
KZZZT – A FIELD OF STATIC APPEARS.
The Voodoo and the Mayors find themselves in a small studio audience. They are still wearing their jerseys, but the people around them don colourful clothing and goofy costumes. In front of them is a bright podium where Lauren Fash, Lee Baraquin, and Fuller Philson look confused. Hugo Livingston III comes out to say “NEO SNYMAN! YOU’RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE COST IS CORRECT!! COME ON DOWN!”
The crowd turns to see the meerkat is decked in a hula skirt and lei as he runs excitedly down toward the podium! Turning back, Lauren is decked in what could only be a car salesman outfit, Lee wears a fake muscle suit over his already hulking frame, and Fuller is wearing a raincoat with an umbrella hat. Neo takes his place next to them, all excited to be bidding on a BRAND NEW CA—
KZZZT – A FIELD OF STATIC APPEARS.
Oriana Lowenthal walks down the line of Voodoo players, all stood in military formation. The owl has a kilt and a general’s outfit as he speaks in a very bad Scottish accent. “We dunnae allow the others to win, is THAT CLEAR?? They may take our Basketballs, they may take our courts, but they CANNAE TAKE OUR FREEDOM!” Hamish Moyce, Rafael Hayes, and Reed Carter, also suddenly dressed in kilts, yell and scream “FOR BILOXI! FOR SCOTL—"
KZZZT – A FIELD OF STATIC APPEARS.
Sterling Bengtzing is in an interrogation chair as Travis Buckner and Tyler Rudderfield shine a bright light over him. Both are in 3-piece suits. Similarly dressed, Ogun and Harmonie Okayu stand between them and the others (still in their basketball uniforms) looking menacingly at the remaining Voodoo and Mayors, rapidly dwindling in number. Bucker says, in a mid-Atlantic accent wholly unlike his normal lilt: “Yer gonna tell us where the Voodoo dolls are, seeeeee? You’d better tell us or we’ll take out… the Device.” Sterling refuses to talk. Natalee Davenport comes out with a very long feather. Sterling squirms. “You’re working with them? I thought you were on OUR side. NOOOOO!” The camera zooms in just as the feather starts to touch the bottom of the polecat’s exposed pawpa—
KZZZT – A FIELD OF STATIC APPEARS.
Tameeka Jetson walks through a green lush field as people behind her enjoy the beautiful day. Lóránt Petrán and Estelle Tomou toss a frisbee back and forth. Maria Kincade stands at a grill, laughing with Jacobus van Oirschot and Sakarias Ekholm, watching as she cooks. Michael Ekezie, Ain Iannizzi, Kyle McLeod, and Viking Lagerström enjoy a game of lawn darts. Tameeka walks toward the small group that’s left. “Are you suffering from delusions, apparitions, or other hallucinations? Try WoeB-Gone! The number #1 prescription drug for”--
“We gotta get out of here!” Daniel Osgood says to the other four that are left, looking for a safe place to hi—
KZZZT – A FIELD OF STATIC APPEARS.
Daniel starts running with Aria Ralston, Quinten Wright, Cici Campione and Rashid Al-Amin in tow. They cringe as a wacky saxophone song starts to play, finding themselves in a never-ending hallway with too many doors. They frantically start to open doors, only to find they’re back where they started, as a television screen looms ever-closer, threatening them with a— FIELD OF STATIC
KZZT KZZT KZZT
Christopher Whalen hits the snooze button on his alarm, sits up and looks around. He’s in his bedroom. “Ugh, what a terrible dream. That’s the last time I eat bamboo pizza right before bed…” He stands up and stretches. As he brushes his teeth, he’s unaware that the television in his bedroom has turned itself on.
KZZZT – A FIELD OF STATIC APPEARS.
((Rourkie))